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Over Under and All Around

The NFL season is just 26 long gutt wrenching days away. In the interim we’ll have some NFL pre-season action (which is like watching Goodfellas on network television, watered down, unrealistic, and not nearly as satisfying as the real thing), some baseball, a little Quail Hollow PGA Championship action (Jason Day is taking it this weekend), and can we possibly get Carmelo and Kyrie traded? I’m getting tired of the will they-won’t they-you know they’re gonna action from the Knicks and Cavs, its like watching Ross and Rachel without getting to watch Jennifer Aniston. In the meantime you should take…

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FANTASY FORECAST RAP UP

This marks the wrap up article for our Fantasy Forecast series. We’ve reviewed the quarterback situation (pre-Tannehill injury), taken a look at what running backs you may be looking at, gone long with some wide receivers, pounded some brews with Gronk and the tight ends, and got a bit defensive. Quarterback Fantasy Preview Running Back Fantasy Preview Wide Receiver Fantasy Preview Tight End Fantasy Preview Team Defense Fantasy Preview We’re gonna send you off, ready for your fantasy football season with a little advice, and our final positional rankings…. your top 10 fantasy kickers! The advice is simple. You may…

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FANTASY FORECAST – TEAM DEFENSE

Yaaaaawwwwwnnnnn, well, after trudging through the boring Quarterbacks, and skill position guys we now get to the fun stuff. Team Defense! Woo Hoo!!!! Its like a party for your eyes. We’re going to give you the top 10 fantasy defenses for this upcoming season. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean these are the top 10 defenses in the NFL, but rather the top in fantasy. What’s the difference you may ask? Well, if the Vikings defense gives up 25 points to the Patriots, and the Jaguars defense gives up 15 points to the Browns you could easily make the argument that…

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FANTASY FORECAST – TIGHT ENDS

We’ve done quarterbacks, we’ve done running backs, wide receivers, and now its all about tight ends. Wow, without context that statement makes us seem a bit slutty, which would just be… well, never mind. After a brief delay in the content machine, we’re back to review the fantasy potential of the tight end position in 2017. And not like the fantasies y’all have had about former Gronk “friend” and porn starlet Bibi Jones. We’ve got 30 tight ends to keep an eye on this year, and the next few years. GROUP ONE: (This is a large group, so try and…

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THE BEST THING TO HIT L.A. SINCE…EVER?

There is a juggernaut being assembled in California. A team absolutely tearing through opponents like Trump goes through Press Secretaries. Piling up wins faster than Vin Diesel can rack up Fast n Furious sequels. The Golden State Warriors and all their fanfare? No, your Los Angeles Dodgers. The Los Angeles Dodgers have been very good of late, reaching the playoffs every year since 2013, but never making it passed the National League Championship Series. Their last World Series championship occurred in 1988. That is 29 seasons ago. (Does that make anyone else feel really old? Like I can vividly remember…

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ONE TIME AT BBALL CAMP….

No, there was no flute usage, it was not stuck, played, or used in any capacity. And if you haven’t seen American Pie, that will make no sense. Go back and watch it, it was hilarious, way back before Tara Reid became emaciated. In a previous life I coached basketball for a living. Granted, I didn’t make a good living, but its what I did. As part of the gig of being an underpaid, overworked, (but always appreciated, my head coach was awesome, you’re not gonna catch me saying anything derogatory about him) young assistant basketball coach, I worked basketball…

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FANTASY FORECAST – WIDE RECEIVERS

This is part three of a five part series where we review positions for the upcoming fantasy football season. This segment focuses on the league’s prima donna position, left handed starters for the Boston Red Sox with names that rhyme with Rice…. oh sorry, wrong article, this segment is about NFL wide receivers. The expected schedule of release for each fantasy relevant position is found below: Quarterbacks: July 20th Running Backs: July 23rd Wide Receivers: July 26th Tight Ends: July 29th Team Defense: August 1st Kickers: Why do yall keep asking about kickers? In spite of #PuntersArePeopleToo , I will…

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IS THE TIME RIGHT FOR NBA EXPANSION?

With the bulk of the off season lifting completed, the remaining free agents are scrounging for whatever veteran minimum contracts can be found. While the narrative has been about the focusing of talent into an isolated amount of cities, and rosters, there are still plenty of NBA level athletes available on the market, and overseas. If you were to start an NBA franchise with the likes of Nerlens Noel, Michael Beasley, Shabazz Muhammed, Tony Allen, Monta Ellis, Andrew Bogut, Ian Clark, JaMychal Green, Gerald Henderson, Alex Len, Nikola Mirotic, and Rodney Stuckey, would you be a championship contender? No, of…

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FANTASY FORECAST – RUNNING BACKS

Bringing you the second part of a five part series where we review positions for the upcoming fantasy football season. This segment focuses on running backs, a position with more consistent upheaval than Taylor Swift’s love life. A reminder of the SCHEDULE OF EXPECTED RELEASES: Quarterbacks: July 20th Running Backs: July 23rd Wide Receivers: July 26th Tight End: July 29th Team Defense: August 1st Kickers: ….. I’ll give you  sneak preview of the top rated kickers right now So lets get right into this. This will catalog 68 of the top running backs in the NFL for this upcoming season.…

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Brocabulary Lesson

Well, I believe in the soul, The cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrate crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft wet kisses that last three days, and I believe that no worthwhile conversation can take place without the use of…

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FANTASY FORECAST – QUARTERBACKS

Baseball has had its All Star game, the NBA free agent feeding frenzy has all but wrapped up, and seven weeks from tonight the sports world will be turning it attention to Foxborough, Massachusetts as the Kansas City Chiefs roll into Patriots Place to challenge the reigning NFL champions. But before all that happens, one of…

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In Honor of the Honorable

So please humor me for an article before I return you to your regularly scheduled commentary on the mundane. And I know what you’re thinking. I haven’t actually posted in a hot minute. Well, I’m sorry, give me this one, and maybe I’ll put together this content calendar I’ve been telling Slim Mex about (oh yeah, and I’ll even put together a write up on The Duckers. So far The Dude, and Slim Mex have been mentioned, but there are others). Let me tell you how I spent my morning. I sat at a table, soliciting money from people from…

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Dysfunction Junction

Two teams, two different cities. 450 miles apart on a map, light years from each other in terms of realistic immediate goals, and yet, closer than one would think. The Cleveland Cavaliers will go into the 2017-2018 with the knowledge that they’ve been in the NBA Finals the last 3 seasons, and have brought home…

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DID THE LAKERS DRAFT THE SECOND COMING?

….and with the second selection in the 2017 NBA draft the Los Angeles Lakers select Lonzo Ball of UCLA. Its been a whirlwind few months for the Lakers. The return of prodigal son Magic Johnson to the help turn the franchise’s fortunes around, coupled with the lottery ping pong balls bouncing their way leading to…

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FREE AGENCY DESTINATIONS

Is Kevin Durant destined to land in the big apple after his NBA Finals MVP performance? In one word, no. The two most surefire locks for free agent destinations are for the top two available NBA free agents. Both Steph Curry, and Kevin Durant will be returning to the bay area to defend their tittle.…

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THE 4 SHOWS TELEVISION ACTUALLY NEEDS TO BRING BACK

It seems fairly evident that television writers have lost the ability to come up with their own ideas. They’ve gotten lazy enough where they’re now not even making new shows that are just derivative of previous ones, but are just going for the re-boot of old shows. Some have slight twists on the old show;…

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THE ULTIMATE SITCOM BRO-SQUAD

What up brotha, bro-man, brochacho?! Our scientists went into the lab months ago. After strenuous hours of research, barrels of whiskey, and a herds worth of steaks, they’ve come up with the ultimate television sitcom bro-chain. This legend…wait for it, its so awesome everybody knows your name, even if you’ve been bamboozled 4077 times by…

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SURVEYING THE POST DRAFT LANDSCAPE – ATLANTIC DIVISION

The eye of the hurricane week for the NBA. The time in between the NBA draft and the start of free agency. A chance to catch our collective breath as NBA fans and take stock of where the teams are. By my count there were 12 draft night trades scuttling picks both present and future…

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SURVEYING THE POST DRAFT LANDSCAPE – CENTRAL DIVISION

The eye of the hurricane week for the NBA. The time in between the NBA draft and the start of free agency. A chance to catch our collective breath as NBA fans and take stock of where the teams are. By my count there were 12 draft night trades scuttling picks both present and future…

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SURVEYING THE POST DRAFT LANDSCAPE – SOUTHEAST DIVISION

The eye of the hurricane week for the NBA. The time in between the NBA draft and the start of free agency. A chance to catch our collective breath as NBA fans and take stock of where the teams are. By my count there were 12 draft night trades scuttling picks both present and future…

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SURVEYING THE POST DRAFT LANDSCAPE – PACIFIC DIVISION

The eye of the hurricane week for the NBA. The time in between the NBA draft and the start of free agency. A chance to catch our collective breath as NBA fans and take stock of where the teams are. By my count there were 12 draft night trades scuttling picks both present and future…

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SURVEYING THE POST DRAFT LANDSCAPE – NORTHWEST DIVISION

The eye of the hurricane week for the NBA. The time in between the NBA draft and the start of free agency. A chance to catch our collective breath as NBA fans and take stock of where the teams are. By my count there were 12 draft night trades scuttling picks both present and future…

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SURVEYING THE POST DRAFT LANDSCAPE – SOUTHWEST DIVISION

The eye of the hurricane week for the NBA. The time in between the NBA draft and the start of free agency. A chance to catch our collective breath as NBA fans and take stock of where the teams are. By my count there were 12 draft night trades scuttling picks both present and future…

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The Silent Round

With all the excitement surrounding the landscape shattering trade that saw the Celtics send the number one overall pick in this year’s NBA draft to the Philadelphia 76ers all the talk has focused upon who the Celtics will target now that Markelle Fultz isn’t about to don that Celtic Green. Will it be Josh Jackson,…

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2017 NBA DRAFT PREVIEW

With less than a week to go before 60 anxious young athletes find out the next stop on their basketball journey, the draft received a jolt with news that the Boston Celtics had sent the right to kick off the festivities a few hours south to Philadelphia in exchange for the #3 pick this year,…

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For Love or Money

In the post haze of a brilliant playoff run before running into the uber-talented Warriors the Cleveland Cavaliers must be left to ponder the question of how do they unseat the newly crowned NBA champions. That is easier said than done. Encumbered by the restraints of the NBA salary cap rules the Cavaliers are left with…

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Isaiah vs. Avery, who stays, who goes?

So the Golden State Warriors are the newly crowned champions of the NBA, something as seemingly inevitable as another Fast & Furious movie being made, or Taylor Swift breaking up with her next boyfriend. This of course means fans of teams around the league are now turning their attention to the offseason full of hope…

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5 Unpopular Trades to be made in the NBA

I’ve reviewed rosters, looked at salary cap implications, surveyed the NBA landscape and come up with 5 trades that would be very unpopular in at least 1 NBA city, but make enough sense that they’re not unfathomable. We’ve got 20 total players involved, plus 5 draft picks, and it involves 2 sign and trades (I’ll give you a hint…. bye bye lob city). We’ll start off with the least impactful, before moving onto bigger fish, and cap it off with a 3 team deal to create another “Big 3” super power. TRADE #1: Avoiding that dreaded luxury tax and getting some…

TEAM PREVIEW: DALLAS COWGIRLS

Team: Dallas Cowgirls 2018 Record: 10-6 Notable Off-Season Moves:  Lost slot receiver Cole Beasley to the Bills Replaced Beasley with Randall Cobb from Green Bay Lost David Irving to the Cheech and Chong convention Added veteran safety George Iloka Coaxed Jason Witten out of retirement Traded for veteran pass rusher Robert Quinn Offensive Outlook:  The mid-season trade that landed Amari Cooper revitalized the Cowgirls offense. But now the task of having to pay Dak Prescott, Ezekiel Elliott, and Amari Cooper seems daunting. A return to health, hopefully, of all pro center Travis Frederick will go a long way towards restoring the offensive…

TEAM PREVIEW: WASHINGTON REDSKINS

Team: Washington Redskins 2018 Record: 7-9 Notable Off Season Moves:  Lost wide receivers Jamison Crowder, and Maurice Harris to free agency. Brought in Case Keenum via trade and Dwayne Haskins via the draft to compete with Colt McCoy at Quarterback Signed Landon Collins away from their divisional rival New York Giants Offensive Outlook:  Its really tough to say. Of course Quarterback is the most important position on the field. So until we know who will be under center for Washington do we really know what to expect? Or is the fact that we don’t know who that will be, tell us everything…

TEAM PREVIEW: NEW YORK GIANTS

Team: New York Giants 2018 Record: 5-11 Notable off season moves: Traded away Odell Beckham Jr. and Olivier Vernon Used 3 first round picks for QB Daniel Jones, DT Dexter Lawrence, and CB DeAndre Baker Acquired OG Kevin Zeitler, WR Golden Tate, Jabrill Peppers Lost Landon Collins in free agency Offensive Outlook:  The question that’ll be asked ad nauseum in the Big Apple is when will Eli give way to Duke’s Daniel Jones whom the Giants selected with the 6th pick in this spring’s draft. Clearly Eli’s ability to lead a competitive NFL franchise has disappeared, much like Giant fan’s…

All Time Best Arnold Flicks

Sometimes it’s necessary for a team to bring in a pitcher with a cannon for an arm, a stopper, someone to throw frozen ropes chest high and back the opposition off the plate. I’m talking Pedro, Lee Smith, John Rocker and Carl Mays (he killed a guy in 1920 with a fastball). Enter Big Sexy to the Top Ducker forum. 99mph heater right over your batting helmet, wad of chewing tobacco in and knee high socks on. Here to put together a Top 5 list for the real man. Not some Scientologist (Cruise), big eared alien fighter (Smith) or one…

PSA #7 – HEROES AMONG US

Normally our Public Service Announcements come from the wise words put forth by Big Sexy. I can’t even begin to borrow his moniker, if I were to try and come up with my own name in that vein I’d be know as Round Just Okay, which isn’t nearly as catchy. So please bare with me if the words put forth here aren’t as eloquent. It was 2 years ago today that an article was published In Honor of the Honorable that gave tribute to Army Cpl. Frank R. Gross of Charlie Troop 2nd squadron-38th Cavalry Regiment 504th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade, an…

The Best Network Sitcom of This Millennium Is…

We’re moving along at a pretty good clip right now, it seems like every twelve months another year passes. Odd isn’t it? It’s the middle of the summer, in between the season finales and the upcoming season premieres which seems like a good time to take stock of what the Networks are offering us as far as programing. A committee was formed to pick out all the top choices, the best situation comedies that the major networks (NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, and CW) have given us since the turn of the century. We took that list and wittled it down…

NBA PLAYERS WHO NEED TO MAKE A BIG LEAP

The NBA draft is now well behind us, it feels like a lifetime ago (it was less than 2 weeks ago in reality). And the initial flurry of NBA free agency moves have been made with really only Kawhi Leonard as the last major piece to fall into place. Its now time to start thinking about how the existing pieces fit into the new puzzle each team is trying to put together called their 2019-2020 roster. We’re going to review 5 non-lottery talents taken in the first round of the 2018 draft that were brought along at a snail’s pace…

RUNNING THOUGHTS AS NBA FREE AGENCY KICKS OFF

Keep coming back for more thoughts and info as it comes with regards to the NBA free agent extravaganza that starts in just under half an hour…. Just kidding, its 2:34 here (PST), about 26 minutes before anything is allegedly allowed to get done, and we’ve got reports of about 16 deals going down. I’m going to just keep updating this post throughout the evening with random thoughts and notes regarding the movement, so keep refreshing ladies and gentlemen! 2:34 PM PST: Deals we know of so far: Kyrie Irving to the Nets on a max deal, 4 years, $141…

TIME TO PUT THE PUZZLE TOGETHER: NBA FREE AGENCY

With over 200 players in the NBA free agency pool this next month will truly be a jigsaw puzzle as league execs attempt to piece together their rosters in what is suddenly appearing to be a wide open race to take home the next Larry O’Brien trophy. The reigning champs, the Toronto Raptors may not retain their cornerstone piece, their franchise savior, Kawhi Leonard. The Golden State Warriors’ dynasty was shook to its core by 2 devastating injuries in the Finals, and will likely never be the same again. The team that would be king, the 2018 off season paper…

ITS JUST ABOUT SHOWTIME

With some maneuvering, namely sending out the bottom of the barrel of their roster to the Wizards, the Lakers have managed to set themselves up to be in a position of offering a near (within a few hundred thousand dollars… Oh, is that all, just a few hundred grand, sure, I’ve got that in my car’s cup holder) max deal to a free agent. Now, there are currently 2 schools of thought in regards to what to do with this money. The first of which is to offer it up to bring in a 3rd star. Targets are thought to…