Michael Buffer


The 2018 Fantasy Football season is upon us. And the first annual You’re Ducking Right football league is ready to rock! We’ve put together what can only be described as The Dirty Dozen. Twelve of the nastiest, dirtiest, dregs of society the world has ever known.

We did an online draft for this first year. Using the Yahoo Sports format we drafted in just over one hour. Each team has 17 roster spots, not including up to 3 available IR slots. Starting line ups consists of 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 Flex (RB/WR/TE), 1 team defense, and 1 kicker.

The scoring is a little whacky, we gotta add our own slight twist to keep people on their toes. Passers get .5 per completion. 1 point for every 25 passing yards. 5 points for a passing touchdown, and -1 for an interception.

Rushers get 1 point for every 10 yards rushing. .2 per carry so they get a little something for the effort, so they got that going for them. And of course, 6 yards for getting into the end zone with the rock.

Dali Lama

Receivers are getting the same point for 10 yards that their running brethren are getting, plus 1 point for every reception (wait, hold on, not you Julio, no point for you). And they too get 6 points for hauling in a touchdown.

Also out there to be had is 2 points for a 2 point conversion, 6 points for an offensive fumble return touchdown, and -2 points for coughing up the pigskin.


Kickers are people too! And in our league they get their due. Perform well, and you’ll be handsomely rewarded. You go straight Roberto Agauyo and you’re ducked. Field goals 0-39 yards (don’t know how you can have a field goal below 18 yards, but whatever). A boot of 40-49 will get you 4 points. While from 50 to infinity and beyond! will get you 5 points. The flip side is that if you miss a chip shot from 29 or less, we’re docking your 3 points. 30-39 missed is -2, and a miss from 40-49 is -1. Additionally an extra point made nets you a point, and a miss is a minus 3

On defense you can score points for a sack (1), interception (2), fumble recovery (2), touchdown (6), safety (2), blocking a kick (3), returning a kick for a touchdown (6), an extra point attempt returned (2), or a 4th down stop (2). Also, you start the game out with 15 points. You keep the other team to a goose egg, and you keep those 15 points. Let up 6 points or less, and its 10 points. 7-13 points is 7 for you. 14-20 points given up, you get 3. Keep them between 21-27 points and its no harm, no foul, no points. 28-34 given up means you’re getting docked 3, and you give up 35 or more, we’re taking back 6 points.

Top four squads make the playoffs, which go down week 15 and week 16  of the NFL season. Its do or die, take no prisoners, sweep the leg, put him in a body bag level ruthlessness come playoff time. One poor week and you’re home crying in the fetal position listening to Adele.

Now that you know the format, revisit the draft exploits. Giving you the rundown of the best* picks in each round (number in parenthesis is the pick in that round):

*(Disclaimer, these are the best picks in my estimation. Disagree all you want, this is my webpage, don’t like it, go make your own chump)

1: Ski Ski Ski with Christian McCaffrey (12)

2: Krazy Kurt with Jacksonville Team Defense (2)… this pick was the best simply for the entertainment value. Its the first “something we’ll talk about for years” moment in You’re Ducking Right fantasy leagues.

3: JJ with Rob Gronkowski (2). Its Gronk, nuff said

4: Slim Mex with T.Y. Hilton (5) People underrate the effect Luck’s return will have on T.Y. Slim should enjoy Hilton Reward points

5: Riv with Rex Burkhead (9) it’ll be interesting to see how the backfield touches play out, but I have a feeling Riv got a steal

6: Top Ducker with Evan Engram (6)- the rookie put up numbers in year 1, if he makes a leap… watch out now

7: Casper with Greg Olsen (3) – Where I went with upside in round 6, Casper went with the school slut, the sure thing in round 7

8: Casper with Jamison Crowder (10) – Crowder from Alex Smith is gonna be the “it” thing of Washington in 2018

9: Krazy Kurt with Cooper Kupp (11) – In a PPR, Kupp is going to have some serious value, think peak Wes Welker or Julian Edelman

10: Ice with Andrew Luck (9) – The 14th QB off the board could easily finish as a top 5 QB  by season’s end

11: Riv with Mike Williams (9) – The 2nd year receiver is going to be the prime redzone target for Philly Rivers.

12: Uncle Gio with the Rams defense (8), getting out ahead of the pack picking a prime defense before the run starts rather than adding another bench player.

13: Slim Mex with Jameis Winston (8)- If you can wait a couple games, Winston could well be worth it.

14: Ice with Chris Ivory (9) – A potential sneaky good pick. Between McCoy’s fragility, potential suspension, and NOTHING else going in that offense, Ivory could be a workhorse back by the playoffs.

15: Boom Boom with Tyler Eifert (6) – A boom or bust pick. If Eifert can stay healthy, this is an absolute steal.

16: Magoo with Cole Beasley (12) – A slut pick, Beasley will gobble up anything you put in front of him. He could be Prescott’s most valued receiver.

17: Krazy Kurt with Doug Martin (11): Not at all a fan of the Raiders ground game, but in the 17th round its tough to deny Martin’s potential value here.

Last but not least, lets take a glimpse at the opening day squads for each manager. Using the order Yahoo slotted them in to start, not in any ranking:


Strength- More than solid, maybe too solid at tight end. Zach Ertz, Ben Watson and Cameron Brate

Weakness- Running back, two starters currently are Devonta Freeman and Kerryon Johnson, with only Theo Riddick and Doug Martin on the bench.

Outlook: He’ll be looking forward to the basketball draft by early October


Strength – Quarterback, no need to double check, he’s got Aaron Rodgers.

Weakness – Running back. Solid starters with a good flex (Todd Gurley II, Jay Ajayi, James White), but not a fan of bench guys Ty Montgomery, and Frank Gore.

Outlook: We’ve got a playoff contender, especially if Jay Ajayi can carve a solid niche for himself in that deep Philly backfield.


Strength: He’s got some STUDS at wide receiver. Ever heard of Antonio Brown and Odell Beckham Jr? Toss in Tyler Locket, D.J. Moore, Cam Meredith and you’re set. And oh yeah, he’s got Julian Edelman ready to go week 5 as well. Brown/Beckham/Edelman for a playoff run? Yes please.

Weakness: Running back. He doesn’t have a back on the roster without a valid question mark attached to his name. Marshawn Lynch? 32 year old running back. James Conner? How long until the Bell tolls for thee? Tevin Coleman? Can he be more than Devonta Freeman’s sidekick? Aaron Jones? Can we wrest the job from Jamaal Williams after his suspension? Austin Ekeler, John Kelly, Chase Edmonds? He’s gotta hope something happens to at least one of Melvin Gordon, Todd Gurley II, or David Johnson.

Outlook: Love the wide receiver group. But barring one of the back ups backing into a full time gig at RB, I’m not sure he has enough there to mount a run.


Strength: When you have the GOAT at quarterback, while having a VERY strong candidate for comeback player of the year Andrew Luck backing Brady up, its tough to say that’s not a strength.

Weakness: a more than solid squad means I’m getting nit-picky with the weakness. The wide receiver group has some questions, or at the very least, little track record. JJ Smith Schuster, Will Fuller IV, and Devin Funchess could all have big years, but they haven’t established that we can expect it, only that we can hope for it. Alshon Jeffrey is the only receiver on the bench but he’s currently on IR

Outlook: Good depth, good starting line up. Ice should be poised for a playoff run.


Strength: Riv has a great receiver group. Maybe not as good as Uncle Gio’s, but he also doesn’t have to wait for a 4 game suspension to end to tap that potential. Julio Jones, Tyreek Hill, and Stefon Diggs headline the group with some decent reserves on the bench, Mike Williams, Kelvin Benjamin, John Ross, and Donte Moncrief. Plenty of upside.

Weakness: Tight End, Jordan Reed when healthy can be a stud, it would just concern me if I was counting on him.

Outlook: If Jimmy G is was we think he is, this should be a good team. Not a playoff lock, but I wouldn’t exactly count him out either.


Strength: Big Deli’s wide receiver group is deep with known entities at the top, with some nice upside flyers towards the bottom. DeAndre Hopkins, Jarvis Landry, Robert Woods, and Marvin Jones currently are in the starting line up. Mohamed Sanu provides a consistent option on the bench, with Calvin Ridley and Keenan Cole providing nice upside potential.

Weakness: Running back depth apparently wasn’t a priority. He’s got Melvin Gordon and Derrick Henry starting, which means he could be a lot worse off. On the bench, Duke Johnson is a solid option. He’s probably the most solid option on the Browns as I’m not sure how the Carlos Hyde/Nick Chubb splits will go over the season, but we know Johnson will be the 3rd down receiving back for sure. Other than those three, Jordan Wilkins is around, but how his roll plays out is a crapshoot guess.

Outlook: No pushover, it may be a struggle to get into the top third. It’ll depend on how the matchups break down each week.


Strength: Ski loaded up at running back and should flourish because of it. Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook, Lamar Miller, and Dion Lewis all found their way on to Ski’s roster. Along with them were some longer shots that could pan out; Rashad Penny, C.J. Anderson, Devontae Booker, and Alfred Blue.

Weakness: I would be concerned about the quarterback position. Kirk Cousins and Marcus Mariota make up the depth chart. Cousins had a tendency to put up numbers later in games for Washington when they had to throw. In Minnesota, they should be playing from in front instead, meaning the value will come from Dalvin Cook instead.

Outlook: A solid threat to make the playoffs, and to make some noise once there.


Strength: Tight End, he’s got Rob Gronkowski. He’d be better off if he had a back up plan in case/when Gronk misses some time. But for every game he is on the field, JJ will have the advantage.

Weakness: Very mediocre at Wide Receiver. Not bad, but not great either. Golden Tate has been talked about as trade bait. Brandin Cooks joins his third team in 3 years, and while Jared Goff looks good, he’s no longer catching balls from Drew Brees or Tom Brady. Allen Robinson just missed an entire season, joins a new system, which is always a question mark with an NFL receiver, and has a quarterback that hasn’t proven they can throw the ball at a NFL level. Kenny Stills, DeSean Jackson, and Brandon Lafell are on the bench, none of which are really in any position to make a leap in production, and none of which make you very excited.

Outlook: If everyone can remain healthy the starting line up top to bottom can compete. Then again, health is always the big X factor in fantasy sports isn’t it.


Strength: It should be a strength, assuming the proper line up decision can be made, but Slim Mex will have 2 starting caliber quarterbacks at his disposal once Jameis Winston’s suspension is served. Until then he’ll have to settle for another former #1 overall pick in Matt Stafford.

Weakness: With only one tight end on the roster, there isn’t a huge margin for error. When you consider his 2017 production, you wouldn’t worry about Delanie Walker. When you consider he’s 34 years old, you may worry about Delanie Walker.

Outlook: No surprise here that with minimal fantasy prep, Slim Mex still steps his game up and puts together what should be a playoff contending roster.


Strength: Star power at the top, along with good depth, including some upside flyers makes Wide Receiver a strength for Boom Boom. Mike Evans and Mike Thomas themselves make this a formidable unit. Factor in that Demaryius Thomas, and Larry Fitzgerald should have something left in the tank, and now you’ve got a nice receiving corps. Robbie Anderson, Jordy Nelson, Rishard Matthews, and a flyer on Dallas’ Deonte Thompson make it interesting.

Weakness: Its tough to say, two guys with question marks who could prove very valuable. Trey Burton has seen limited starting reps as a tight end thanks to Philly’s depth at the position. He now has a chance to emerge as his own man in Chicago. As a converted quarterback, there is still a question mark next to his name. (I’m sure his being a Gator had NOTHING to do with the selection). Picking up Tyler Eifert late was a top value pick contender. If healthy its a steal, if not, he didn’t use much draft capital.

Outlook: A tough out week to week, I think Boom Boom will struggle to make the top third. But the season has barely started, lets see how this plays out.


Strength: In spite of taking a flyer on a guy not even on a roster, Dez Bryant, Casper has a nice little receiving corps; Devante Adams, Keenan Allen, Doug Baldwin, Jamison Crowder, Ryan Grant, and Danny Amendola has top end star power with Adams, and Allen, and I suspect Crowder is going to make a big leap as a slot receiver with Smith in town.

Weakness: We have a tie…. Kicker and Team Defense are very weak for Casper, as he has neither on his roster. On the plus side, he can’t get negative points from them.

Outlook: Assuming Alfred Morris wins the starting gig outright from Matt Brieda then the Morris and David Johnson pairing should be good enough to carry Casper to a decent amount of W’s this year.


Strength: Besides being smart, funny, sexy, and humble? We’ll say team defense. With Carolina and Chicago on the roster, that is one known commodity on defense, and another that with off season additions could quickly move up the charts of the leagues best units.

Weakness: Health and being there. Cornerstone picks Le’Veon Bell and Carson Wentz both have giant question marks on their return dates, in addition to Marlon Mack and DeVante Parker not being available week one after getting banged up in the pre-season.

Outlook: If the ole squad can hang on until Bell and Wentz comes back, then there could be a playoff run, but ultimately its probably just too many ifs.

Well, that’s the preview for this fantasy season. We’ll have some updates intermittently throughout the season, and be on the look out for the upcoming NHL and NBA fantasy leagues!


  • Written by Jason Sullivan
  • Find us on Twitter at @TopDucker or on Facebook at You’re Ducking Right





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