This marks the wrap up article for our Fantasy Forecast series. We’ve reviewed the quarterback situation (pre-Tannehill injury), taken a look at what running backs you may be looking at, gone long with some wide receivers, pounded some brews with Gronk and the tight ends, and got a bit defensive.
We’re gonna send you off, ready for your fantasy football season with a little advice, and our final positional rankings…. your top 10 fantasy kickers!
The advice is simple. You may be playing in a “for fun” league, you may be in a low stakes cash game, it may be a high stakes cash game, who knows. Ultimately the goal is the same. To have fun. Playing can make the games more interesting. It’ll broaden the scope of the games you watch. Maybe you grew up as a life long Browns fan. Without fantasy football there to make you watch other teams you may have been tortured watching crappy football your entire life!
Enjoy your friends. You’re likely in a league with friends, family, co-workers. Enjoy them. Get together for the draft, catch a Monday night game together at the bar after work, trash talk a bit (try to keep it light hearted, but a little competitive juice never hurt anyone).
Remember that ultimately, no one gives a shit about your fantasy team other than yourself. Nobody likes the guy that only talks about how his 2nd string wide receiver did, or how some coach is an idiot because he slowed the offense down up 20 and it lost you a fantasy game. Suck it up buttercup, its life. Trust me, if you win every fantasy match this year, some of it is luck. If you lose every fantasy match this year, some of it is luck.
If you’re team is awful, just make sure you stay involved. Again, its about having fun with your friends. Remember, most people like their team after the draft. It hardly ever remains that way. Mike Tyson once said about boxing, that everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. Fantasy football is the same way. Everybody likes their squad until their first round drafted running back tears his ACL in week 2.
So have fun, talk shit, eat wings, enjoy life. Its not just a game, its a fantasy.
And with that, I present to you, your top 10 fantasy kickers, unlike the other ratings, there is an order, starting at #10, working our way down to #1:
10. Antonio Brown: An appearance in the Wide Receiver group one (spoiler alert if you haven’t read the wide receiver preview, and if you haven’t yet, why haven’t you, you wanker), and crashing the fantasy kicker top 10 list. Really this makes up for never having won a Superbowl.
9. Grayson Allen: You’d have to be tripping to think this Blue Devil wouldn’t make the list. Really though, with a name like Grayson Allen he had 2 choices in life, play basketball for Duke, or Lacrosse for Syracuse.
8. Alex Morgan: The best thing to come out of San Dimas, California since Bill and Ted. Alex Morgan is gorgeous and can kick the hell out of a ball.
7. Bruce Lee: You had to figure you’d see him somewhere, well the Dragon enters at #7 on our list.
6. The Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon chic: I mean, she was on some next level stuff with her jumps and kicks. She hung in the air like no one else has since MJ. Do I know her real name? No. Do I even know her character’s name? No. Can I appreciate what I’m seeing in the pic above? You’re Ducking Right I can.
5. Draymond Green: It can be tough for a second rounder to make it in the NBA, but Draymond just keeps kicking. Some guys just have a nose for the ball. Green demonstrates that he really has some toes for balls.
4. Holly Holmes: A kick so powerful it didn’t just knock Ronda Rousey out, it kicked Arouse-Me’s career right out of the octagon. At least she still has her Fast Furious cameo to look back upon.
3. Kathy Ireland: Playing Lucy Draper, kicker for Texas State in 1991’s Necessary Roughness, Ireland was the ultimate fantasy kicker for teenage boys all across the country.
2. Daniel LaRusso, AKA, The Karate Kid: Fyi, if you needed the AKA notation to know who that is, you need to close you computer, phone, tablet, printout, whatever it is you’re reading, and go watch some damn movies. Its 2017, there are too many ways to have seen this classic at least 10 times. The kick may technically have been illegal, but if its what got him Elizabeth Shue, you do what you gotta do.
1. Q-Tip, Phife Dawg, Ali Shaheed Muhammad, and Jarobi White.
You’re looking for one thing out of a kicker… can they kick it? Well if you’re asking about Tribe Called Quest… then the answer is yes… can they kick it? Yes they can!
- Jason Sullivan
- You can find me on Twitter @TopDucker