Brocabulary Lesson

Well, I believe in the soul, The cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrate crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft wet kisses that last three days, and I believe that no worthwhile conversation can take place without the use of lines taken from movies.

Some movies are more quotable than others, and some quotes are so well known you may know them without ever having seen the movie. So what is the bare bones list of movies, and most popular quips you simply have to know to be able to keep up?  These aren’t the “best” of all time, you won’t find anything from The Sound of Music, or Mary Poppins on here, but if you’re quoting those with the boys, you need to stop and go get that man-bun chopped off.

Think of this as chapter one of a Brocabulary Rosetta Stone lesson, so grab some popcorn, your Netflix password, a six pack, and your notepad, class is in session:

“Allright, Allright, Allright” – Dazed and Confused

“That’s what I love about these high school girla, man. I get older, they stay the same age” – Dazed and Confused

“I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer. Looks like we’re almost out a beer” – Dazed and Confused

Val Kilmer

“I’m your huckleberry” – Tombstone

“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse” – The Godfather

“Leave the gun, take the cannoli” – The Godfather

“I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!” – The Godfather part II

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer” – The Godfather part II

“You know, I’m just the best there is. I wake up every morning and piss excellence.” – Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby

“If you aint first, you’re last” – Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby

Zach Galifinakis

“Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit’ll come back with you” – The Hangover

“Its not illegal, its frowned upon, like masterbating on an airplane” “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal too” “Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden” – The Hangover

“Not you fat Jesus” – The Hangover

“So I got that going for me, which is nice” – Caddyshack

“We have a pool and a pond, the pond is better for you” – Caddyshack

“The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.” – Fight Club

“Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in german means “whale’s vagina”: – Anchorman

“The Dude abides” – The Big Lebowski

“You’re killing me Smalls” – The Sandlot

“Its just a flesh wound” – Monty Python and the Holy Grail

“Juuuust a bit outside” – Major League

“Fuck you Jobu, I do it myself” – Major League

“Show me the money!” – Jerry Maquire

Woody Harrelson

“We going sizzler” – White Men Can’t Jump

“I can hear Jimi” – White Men Can’t Jump

“Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!” – Dodgeball

“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball” – Dodgeball

“Son, you’re about as useful as a poopie flavored lollipop”  Dodgeball

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

 

Matthew Broderick

 

  • Jason Sullivan
  • Find me on Twitter @TopDucker

 

 

 

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